Finding Frissen

Since Monday I have had two moments of Frissen.

Monday night in class the teacher did a little "lab" in front of the class with another student. I generally loathe these sorts of things, asking students to go up front and talk about stuff (it is for counseling after all). Well they did their little counseling session in front of the class, really just to allow the teacher to give us live action experience with the sorts of things he says and asks during a normal counseling session. I liked the way he found little things to ask about and kept digging deeper even though all she talked about was a little family trip she took last weekend.

Then he discussed with us what he did, the questions he asked. As he was talking it was hitting me how easy and yet excruciatingly hard it is to do just what he did.

I got that pang in my chest. The one where your heart seems to wrap around your lungs and pull up your diaphragm all at the same time. It was quick. In fact it didn't take me long to notice it was there and then it was gone.

Then, last night, while waiting for my wife to finish doing some of her work I was passively checking twitter and emptying out my emails when a friend posted a tweet that Jeff Goins had a kindle book for free for a limited time. I've read his blogs a few times and always thought he had good things to say, but I've never taken the time to buy any of his books. Or do anything he says on his blog.

This was free and it was titled "You are a writer (So start acting like one)." So, I downloaded it and began to read. By about the fourth page my chest began to tighten. By the sixth page he instructed us to do a little exercise. To get over the hurtle of when you become a writer he says, "Grab a pen and paper -- make this a tactile experience -- and write the following words:"

"I am a writer."

So, I did.

Not only had my heart wrapped around my lungs and tightened my diaphragm up into my throat, my stomach was doing flips.

I am a writer?

I mean, I write. Sometimes. And I love doing it. But really? Am I a writer?

I am a writer.

So, here I am. Writing.